You’re the Village Idiot

What happens when one day you wake up and discover you’re the Village Idiot?  Don’t give me that “what ‘choo talkin’ bout, Willis?” look.  Here’s the scenario:  You’ve been down and disconsolate for days.  Nothing is going right.  You’re unemployed (or under-employed).  You’re eating too much, drinking too much.  Unhappy.  Frumpy and dumpy…get it?  Feeling incredibly sorry for yourself.  People ask you how you are and you answer, “hanging in there”.  Waahhhhhh.  You go to bed, you toss and turn, sleep fitfully, have nightmares, wake up each morning feeling like someone slapped you in the head all night with a wet towel.

Then one morning you wake up…circumstances have not changed, but somehow, deep in your brain that part of you that made you success in the first place, has reared it’s head.

The role of the big frontal lobes, which are part chief executive officers, part directors of voluntary movement.  They are responsible for ambition and drive, strategic planning, and control of emotional expression. –Elizabeth Reid, MD

Notice something?  The part of the brain that controls ambition/drive also controls emotional expression.  I’m no scientist certainly, but that appears to be a duh-huh moment.  Your own brain is telling you that you are behaving like the Village Idiot, to get off your butt and stop whining.  That’s why so many motivational speakers harp endlessly on positive thinking.  Positive thought reinforces your motivation and drive because they come from the same region of the brain.

Ever watched a zombie movie? Masses of the un-dead wandering around, looking like they’ve been hit by the entire mass transit system of LA, mumbling rudely about eating your brain.  Regardless, if we’re not careful that is exactly what we become.  One of the endless mobs lost in a sea of misery.  I’m stating the obvious but, life is not easy; disappearing jobs, obliterated savings, no one able to lend a hand…it’s hard out there.  Then before you know it, you become a zombie, wandering aimlessly in a fog of anguish, howling for the one thing that can change your situation…..a brain.  It always comes back to the brain.

That brings us full circle, you’ve realized that the only thing that can change your circumstances is you.  That’s the day you wake up and realize you’re the Village Idiot…rather like Dorothy, you had the capability all along to change your state of affairs.  Oh, what the heck let’s go for the movie reference trifecta…the force flows through you and around you….it is within your power to change your life.

No.  One cannot just snap their fingers and stop the foreclosure on their home.  Having the ability to take control doesn’t make it magical or instantaneous, and dire things may still happen.  However, if you don’t take control and break the cycle now, dreadful things will never stop happening.  It’s just like your nightmares.  At some point, you wake up.  The residual anxiety may plague you throughout the day, but you know the dream itself is over and the day brings a fresh start.

Don’t retreat to the reptilian part of the brain, that section that guards our fight/flight responses.  Push out to the frontal lobe, take control of your situation, and let your ambitions lead you to a better place.  Think of an idea, a concept then go out and pitch it to someone who has shown some frontal lobe talents of their own.  Don’t ball up in the corner, fight your way out!  Look to see where the throngs of zombies are headed and GO THE OTHER WAY!  The Village Idiot is the one that just stands there and screams while the zombies slowly shuffle toward him.  You on the other hand are about to make the choice to get up, gesture rudely to the un-dead, and run like heck in the opposite direction.  Make your own way, as it were.  Oh, one bit of advice.  When you’re choosing your new destination, don’t choose Washington, DC.  They’ve had brain-eating zombies there for 2 centuries, contained only by the confusion of the Beltway.  (Sorry…couldn’t resist)

Are you up yet?  Stopped mumbling?  Good.  Now for goodness sakes, go take a shower and scrub that frontal lobe.  You’re going to need some fresh ideas.

By the way, I’d love to know what you come up with….keep me in the loop; leave a comment here and let me know how you stop being the Village Idiot.

When Desperation Meets Faith

Don’t care who you are, what you do or where you live; you’ve been there.  You’ve sat on the edge of your bed, staring out into space, casting around wildly for answers; looking for emotional, even physical relief from the anxieties of life.  Seeing no way out of the predicament you start considering the stupid things, when that still, small voice whispers in your ear.  You’re not even sure what was said, you just know that somehow, somewhere an answer will come and then suddenly there you are…..the place where desperation meets faith.

It’s different for everyone because faith means various things to people.  For me I have a deep, unshakable, abiding faith in God and his only begotten son, Jesus.  I don’t expect an easy road, I don’t expect everything to work out just the way I have envisioned, but I do have confidence that if I am faithful then things will work out the way He believes is best for me.  Sometimes lessons are learned, sometimes miracles are performed, and sometimes I get to be the vehicle for someone else to receive a blessing.  Regardless, I trust in the Lord’s judgment fully and completely.

Recently I asked this question on Facebook and Twitter: “What happens when desperation meets faith?” and I got a couple of interesting answers.  One was, “Desperation loses”, interesting, succinct and born of experience.  The other was very intriguing, “God doesn’t respond to our desperation, He responds to our faith”.  That one really struck a chord in me.  How often to we cry out in despair when we should be reaching out with devotion?

Regardless of what you accept as true, the bottom line is that we each experience moments where our personal viewpoints are challenged, when right and wrong don’t matter as much as making the pain stop; that’s the point when we must decide who we really are, what we believe in and how are we will push through the crisis.

There are definitions and then there are definitions.  Define a few words for me: hope; purpose; determination; commitment; and faith.  You hear those words tossed around a lot in the social media, everyone trying to sound profound and wise.  However, if you’re anything like me (scary I know) then you must ask yourself do these pundits know whereof they speak?  Have you ever read something that people are heralding as profound, yet when you read it, you have no clue what the heck they’re talking about?  Oh, man up and confess.  I have.  At first you look at it like the RCA Victor dog, then you think “wow, that must be deep cause I have no idea what the crap that means”, then it becomes, “wow, I must be an idiot cause I have no idea what the crap that means”, then it morphs into, “wow, that writer is full of crap cause that really doesn’t mean diddly squat.” Happens to me all the time when I read quotes from Deepak Chopra.  I’m sure he’s a great guy and obviously profound, but what the heck he’s talking about half the time, I have no idea!

Regardless, this is a  time for personal definition.  What is your purpose this year?  Where do you want to go, what do you want to do, to what will you commit yourself wholly and completely?  From where will your hope come, what will you put your faith in and where can your determination take you?  Don’t ask yourself, “What will make me happy?” Seriously, don’t worry about that because if you achieve it, then what?  Look for something else?  Too much to handle.  No, ask yourself what makes sense in your world, what resonates in your gut as true and good?  Thought of something, didn’t you?  Good, now go get it.

No, I’m not saying it will be easy, I’m saying that it’s part of who we are; we are born to be explorers, adventurers, seekers, and teachers.  We are born not to “just make it through life” but to find our path and live it, searching out the good, learning from the bad and passing on the wisdom we’ve gained.  We are defined by the effect we have on others.  Frankly, no one cares how you view yourself, they care how you change their world.

So, I ask you again…..what happens when your desperation meets faith?  Do you let the desperation define you or do you reach back into your soul, your heart, your gut and refocus your purpose, trample that desperation with your determination, allow hope to light the dark corners of your mind, and commit your energies anew to accomplishing your ambitions?  What does it take to do all that?  Faith.  That’s why it always comes full circle.  Desperation has to meet faith, it’s the only way to begin, maintain or even finish.

Go ahead.  Move a mountain.  I dare you.

The Wind Up, the Pitch….the Hit?

The Wind Up, the Pitch…..the Hit?

I may be jumping the gun, but has anyone noticed that we’re about to end a decade?  We are entering 2010, preparing to spend the next 12 months closing the first decade of the 21^st century.  OK, I’ll wait while you sit down cause it is a big one to swallow.  So?  What have you accomplished in the 21^st century (don’t you hear that big voiced, echo effect…. probably narrated by Mike Rowe, when “21^st century” is uttered?)

Seriously. I’ve been thinking about what’s happened since “Y 2-K”.  I was on the air at a radio station in North Carolina in those days.  Loved that job, but then I have always loved radio.  Then came 9-11.  I was on the air then, too.  (Come to think about it I have been on the air for the Challenger crash, the Libya bombing, 9-11, and many more national incidences than I care to think about.)

Sorry, I digress.  There has been a lot of water under the bridge since January 1, 2000; some good, some bad.  It’s the same for everyone.  Nevertheless, what have you accomplished?  Each December we start thinking about what the New Year will bring.  I don’t like resolutions.  Too reminiscent of diets gone by the wayside.  However, I do like new beginnings; I like determination and I love ambitions.  By nature, I am an ambitious person.  Oddly enough, not by choice.  It’s seems to be hard-wired in my DNA.  Had a conversation not long ago with a dear friend of mine about the need to succeed.  My friend and I are very different in some ways.  She’s calm and logical.  I’m edgy and an idealist.  But we have the same sense of humor and an identical need to be the best at whatever we’re doing.  It’s not about money (although we like it a lot), it’s not about recognition, it’s simply about being the best, facing new challenges, and conquering them.

That’s how I am approaching 2010, feeling very edgy, even sporty.  As if I’m hovering on the verge of a monumental discovery; a change that will shape the rest of my life.  We all feel like at certain periods in our lives; when we graduate from high school or from college; when we get married, have children, etc.  However, at 48 years old, I’m beyond the virgin territory aspects of life, nor am I a daydreamer.   As I sit here watching Discovery Channel’s “Deadliest Catch”, I am fraught with fishing analogies.  At the end of this year, I went fishing in a very large business pond; the bait was excellent, but sometimes even with quality lures fish don’t bite.  However, a skilled fisherman knows how to coax the record catches to his hook.  Now, after weeks of playing the line, the next 30 days will reveal my true skills.  Baiting, finding the sweet fishing hole, and hooking the prey are worthless if you can’t land the objective.

Therefore, for me the year will begin with the biggest push of my life.  My instincts tell me that the adventure of a lifetime is on the horizon; my professional world is about to change and yet, the hardest work of my life is in front of me.  My DNA is kicking in, I know I will be the best….it’s what I do.  It sounds pompous, and I don’t mean it to; it’s just the reality of who I am.  How does the fisherman communicate to the fish his mastery of the situation?  Determination, the resolute pursuit of an objective, and complete dedication to the task…… that’s how objectives are completed.

Can you and I do mean Can You, begin 2010 with that gut feeling?  The best is at your fingertips?  Can you have the sheer force of will to make it happen?

“The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.” ~Dave Weinbaum

Bring it on 2010!   Have a perfect beginning.

Coniferous Trees, Christmas Lights and ‘Colorful’ Language

The Dudley Tree Farm was Christmas central for a little girl, practically the North Pole sans elves.  Each year in early December, we would venture the 7 or so miles up the road to a small farm in our rural upstate New York town that would be populated with dozens and dozens of fresh smelling evergreens.  All shapes and sizes, long needle, short needle, the crooked, the straight, the tall and thin, the stumpy and fat; we would wander from tree to tree, up one row and down the next in search of the perfect fit.  Parental discussions ensued, but I paid them no heed.  I was in heaven.  Wandering in and among the towering (Okay, I was 4 feet tall so it was proportional towering, but it worked for me at the time!) coniferous trees imagining the ornament and light laden results.

Finally, the argument…sorry…the discussion ended.  My father triumphant once again, would look at me and say, “All right Honey, which one do you think?”  I would run to the largest Pseudotsuga menziesii (Douglas-fir) I could find; my mother would gasp, my father would chuckle and call to Mr. Dudley “We’ve found the one she wants”.  My mother would sigh.  She would continue to sigh as it was carried, purchased, stuffed in the trunk, and tied in the trunk, mumbling that it would fall out on the road on the way home “then what will you have?”  My father’s more “colorful” vocabulary would begin quietly as he crammed the spectacular 7 foot specimen in the trunk of the big, black 1965 Dodge sedan, the one that boasted a thin red stripe the length of the vehicle as a passing nod to the sporty car a family man was now denied.  Contrary to my mothers dire predictions we never lost a tree on the road, although I would ride all the way home on my knees, facing backwards on the backseat terror-stricken my dark green treasure would escape the bonds of twine that secured it in the trunk.

Arriving home, the real entertainment would begin.  My mother, who was fastidious, would rush up the hill to “arrange” the house for it’s new arrival as if it were the honored guest at a banquet.  My father’s glee would fade as he struggled to get the tree out of its twine solitary confinement.  Then came the trimming, the pounding, the affixing of the base, all accompanied by the commiserate swear words.  The longer it took, the more prolific and louder the profanities would become.  At some point, cowardice would become the better part of valor and I would flee up the path to the house to announce, “Dad’s having a fit!”  My mother would snort, “of course he is, the tree’s too big”.  Too big?  How can a Christmas tree be too big?  Nah.  Can’t be it.

At last, the long-awaited pine trophy would make the long walk up the hill, through the front door and take it’s place in the living room.  Where the real cussing would begin because it would lean, fall over; tip drunkenly to one side and in the end would once again be trussed more tightly than the holiday turkey, to the window casements it stood between.  Years later, I would begin to understand the phrase “poking the bear” but at the time I couldn’t grasp why my mother would wait until the entire process was over and then slyly say, “Do you think it’s best there or should it go over by the stairs?”  Dad’s predicted response was, “It damn well better be good because the ##@%& thing’s not moving.  Hell, if we water it enough we might be able to use it next year, too”.

I would attempt to sit quietly on the sofa as the strands of lights were applied.  More profanity and then the scratching.  Yes, Dad was allergic to pine trees, the more he handled the sticky fir the redder and more swollen his hands would become.  To my shame, it was years later that I really grasped the sacrifices that parents make for their children, but at the time I just kept wondering, “why doesn’t he wear gloves?”  Finally, the lights and garland were on, and I could join in with the adornment with ornaments.  My father didn’t do ornaments.  That was too girly.  However, there were about half a dozen ornaments that when found in the boxes, only he was allowed to hang.  These were the dangling treasures that his parents had placed on their trees in years past, and passed to him as he left home to begin his own family traditions.  They seemed ancient and fragile.  Remember, this was the mid 60’s, a time of shiny round balls and large bright bulbs.  Think of Lucy on “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, “Get the biggest, shiniest aluminum Christmas tree you can find”.  To see my father reverently handle these delicate decorations shaped as musical instruments, clowns, churches, and horns of plenty was almost an anathema to the times.  These ornaments came to represent Christmas to me.  I was born with asthma and was always one of those children that caught every bug and virus that wafted past me.  To this day, if I don’t get bronchitis at least twice a year, then I feel like something’s missing.  Anyway, it never failed that I got some sort of respiratory infection at Christmas time, so if you ask me what my most pronounced Christmas memories are, I would tell you it was a “sideways Christmas tree”.  I would lie on the couch, staring at the glimmering symbol of yuletide joy drifting in and out of fevered sleep with vague recognitions of my mother’s cool hand on my forehead and my father’s concerned frown from the doorway.  During those times, I vividly recall watching the light dance on one of my father’s treasured antiques.  It was a vivid metallic pink French horn with delicate flowers painted on the wide bell of the instrument.  I would concentrate on that ornament and will myself to feel better; it literally became my talisman of Christmas spirit.

In 2007, my Dad passed away.  I inherited those ornaments.  When we put up our tree, my grandchildren help me to hang ornaments (my husband doesn’t do ornaments…they’re too girly).  When we find those precious, antiques the kids call me because they know only Grandma hangs them.  They stare transfixed as I carefully place each one on the tree, relating memories of my parents and childhood as I work.  Right now, as I type I’m watching that very pink metallic French horn, as the twinkling lights sparkle and dance on it’s surface.  I miss my Dad more than I can tell you, but that small, simple antique still holds all the magic, all the joys, and all the memories of a wonderful childhood.

It’s Christmas.  A time of magic, dreams and joyousness.  Before you get swept up in the hustle and bustle, go make some memories that will carry your family through their lives.  That will be passed down through the generations.  Your legacy will be created now.

Will You Listen, Mr. Rowe?

We all carry someone’s words in our heart.  Something your Dad said to you at that first baseball game; a favorite teacher with a properly placed word of encouragement; a coach who lifted you up at just the right moment; the profound affect of simple verbal bolstering cannot be under estimated.

Many years ago, I was working as a program director and morning show host at a radio station.  My on air partner and I were breaking some new ground, and as in most things, when you break down barriers some folks will love it, some….well, they’ll send hate mail.  After all, what Elbert Hubbard said is true, “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing”.

My partner came in one morning with the following scripture:

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)

It became the word that we carried with us and I still hold on to its encouragement to this day.  Whatever your stand on faith, for me the thought that the creator of the universe had made a personal plan for little, insignificant me was incredible, simply extraordinary!

However, this post is not about scripture; it is about words that change your life.  Are you aware of what you say and the effect it has on others?  One word can lift up or tear down your neighbor, spouse, co-worker, employee or the stranger on the street.

Words can make you number one or they can ruin your career.  A few years ago, I was blessed to receive an industry award for my daily radio performances.  Words are my friends; they have helped me to achieve many, many goals.

Words however are of no consequence if not combined with work.  It’s rather like faith; works are the fruit of faith.  You need the two combined to make things come to pass.

A great example of that word/work combination is the TV reality show, Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe aired on the Discovery Channel.  It was born out of a series of features on a daily TV news magazine in San Francisco, where Mike Rowe was a host; which he called, “Somebody’s Got To Do It”. (Check out this one with the naked cook! http://tiny.cc/pq7Fb)

Rowe had a good idea, and a wonderful command of language…. so what?  Words without work, after all.  A few years ago, he took his idea to Discovery Channel, pitched himself as “the Discovery Guy” who could travel and narrate.  They liked the idea, but wanted to “introduce” him to the audience, so he re-pitched them on his “Somebody’s Got To Do It” concept.  Apparently, Discovery Channel heard the conviction and abilities in his voice because on the road he went with a small crew.  That was five years and over 250 Dirty Jobs ago.  Words and work combined.  According to www.tvbythenumbers.com, Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, is the #1 non-sports, cable program in its time slot.

“Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision.” -Peter Drucker

To realize the successes of Dirty Jobs, Mike Rowe and Discovery it took a series of courageous decisions.  The first by Rowe to pitch his idea; the second, Discovery to hear him, to look past the normal “ho-hum another proposal” attitude and be adroit enough to spot what Rowe could make happen for them; thirdly the combined decision to stick with Rowe and his crew to create television gold.  Words and work.  Are you following along yet?

All of this has led to Rowe creating a “Work is not the Enemy” movement, backed by his own new website which debuted on Labor Day aptly called, www.mikeroweworks.com.  On this deftly produced site, you can find a plethora of skilled trade information, schools, scholarship info, job boards, general input, discussion forums and plenty of Rowe’s trademark humor.  In addition, his schedule now includes  speaking engagements that directly address the need for more skilled trade workers and our country’s crumbling infrastructure. (To take a look at Mike in action, check out this video on work, Dirty Jobs and lamb castration:   http://tiny.cc/IMyFJ.  I promise that you will be affected in ways you can’t image if you take the time to listen. Rowe’s words on what he calls, The War on Work are brilliant and timely.)

Once again, words and work combined for a successful outcome.

What about you?  With the proper combination of words and work, what can you accomplish?  I’ll wager, more than you think you can.  As we end one year and prepare for the next, you need to realize that your dream has never been closer than it is at this exact instant.

That’s the way I feel right now.  Yes, I have some dreams and goals, too.  I, like Mike Rowe, have a proposal to make and all I can hope it that I can gain the attention of the right people to listen, and they will hear the underlying commitment, preparedness, expertise and wisdom in my words.  I am ready to combine my words and work for the betterment of this project.

Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs

How about it?

Will you listen Mr. Rowe?

The Price of Doubt

We deal with a multitude of doubts this time of year.  Does Santa exist; will there be enough money; reviewing end of year failures/regrets/losses; were we good enough to our spouses; friends, and family; what will next year bring; we could have done better on our diets; we didn’t balance our time; should we use facebook vs. myspace?

“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt” William Shakespeare

What has your doubt cost you?  I have a friend that is my “saner voice”.  She is the person I call when I’m about to run off half cocked; the one who talks me down off the fence as it where.  Yet, she is also someone who encourages poking the bear at any given opportunity.  To rattle the cage of status quo to see if the lock will fall off.  It’s rare to get the devil and the angel in one person, but she achieves it nicely.  You see, when there is doubt, you must listen to both sides, then totally disregard them both and do exactly what you gut tells you to do.  Seriously.  Great debates are for the UN (just kidding, we know that never happens), not for real life.

I know, you’ve seen the movies, read the books…the greatest heroes are tormented by doubts, wracked with secret guilt.  Oh, crap.  That’s great for daytime dramas but not real life.  No one is blackmailing you; so that your sixth wife doesn’t find out, she’s your second cousin’s baby one removed, that you actually kidnapped at birth.  Get over yourself and get on with it!

“If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done.” John Lubbock

Do you know what doubts turn in to?  Regrets.  Regrets suck.  We all have could’ve/would’ve/should’ve stories, those are mere inconveniences compared to genuine regrets brought on by that little seed of doubt that you allowed to creep into your psyche and paralyze you.  The nasty, little whisper in your ear that makes you hesitate, thereby losing_________.   Go ahead, fill in the blank.  I’ll wait.  It’s not going to be good, whatever it is.

Mind you, I’m not talking about the time you hesitated for an extra moment at the stop sign and just missed being hit by a speeding mack truck.  I refer to the bone chilling, nauseating feeling when you know he got the girl or she got your dream job, all because you didn’t make a move.

How do I know, you ask?  That’s the trick, you DON’T.  But ask yourself this, if what your considering doesn’t happen, how will you look back on it?  Will it be the biggest loss of your year?  Decade?  Life? If you can’t image not having that something or someone in your life, then it’s bigger than any doubt, worth any risk.

“Doubts and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination, which the steadfast heart will conquer, and the large mind transcend.” Helen Keller

Doubts, mistrust, panic, and timid.  Hmmmm.  Imagination, steadfast, conquer, transcend.  Grouped together, it’s clear.  Negative thoughts breed fear; positive faith brings strength.  Doubt cannot live long where there is faith.  For me, my faith rests in a loving God and his Son.  For you it may be a different source of strength.  Regardless, faith puts out doubt, like a sanitation engineer (garbage men, for those of you not living in NYC) puts out the trash.

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

As we enter the final stretch of 2009, what price will you pay for your doubt? What 2009 fears will limit your 2010?  Will you continue to show up each day to a job you loathe?  Will you spend another evening alone; when you have someone special whose company you’d like to share?  Will you fear answering the phone one more day or let your children go without your total commitment for another year?  What will doubt make you sacrifice?

I’m guilty, you know.  I have a special goal in mind, career wise.  I have made efforts to achieve it, but not pushed the real boundaries, I must admit, out of fear.  You know if you bang on the door hard enough, eventually someone has to answer, but the fear is they answer in the negative.  Am I afraid to get the no?  I guess I am.  However, the “no” may be my only chance to get their attention long enough to have a conversation and within that conversation, I may be able to swing the opinion my way.  I’ve been known to do that a time or two (read the bio on Linkedin).  So without the “no”, I have zero chance of accomplishing my goal.  Do I have to suck it up, quit making excuses and bang down the door?

Without a doubt.

“Isn’t it the moment of most profound doubt that gives birth to new certainties?  Perhaps hopelessness is the very soil that nourishes human hope; perhaps one could never find sense in life without first experiencing its absurdity…” Vaclav Havel

Food Fights and Flightless Birds

Food Fights and Flightless Bird

Looking back, what have you done in your life for which you could have (should have?) been arrested? Seriously.  Is there a potential penal experience lurking in your background? I just found out today, that indeed, was I attending school now, I would have a mug shot hanging in the post office.

On Fox and Friends this morning, they did a story on a middle school that called the police, yes the police, when the children started a food fight in the cafeteria.  Shades of Bluto and Animal House!  Not a food fight….vicious little nippers.

Can you hear the 911 operator, “911 what is your emergency?”

Horror-struck cafeteria lady, “They’re rioting!  It’s like children of the corn….there are tater tots everywhere…oh the humanity!”

I watched, drank my coffee and thought of college. Every year that last meal before the Thanksgiving was Cornish game hens, a globule of stuffing, oddly beige instant mashed potatoes, and something gelatinous that vaguely passed for gravy.   As a freshman, I was bumfuzzled when I went to dinner and ¾’s of the cafeteria were dressed in rain gear, hoods, and held umbrellas at the ready.  The room filled with students, watched by wary workers, was strangely quiet.  Then, as if out of nowhere, one lone Cornish game hen would fly haphazardly across the room.  There would be the slightest of pauses, and then as if a ground charge went off, the room would explode in a hailstorm of birds the consistency of hockey pucks.  The very best among the combatants would glue two birds together with the stuffing, which would implode upon impact.  It was impossible to leave without goo in your ears, corn up your nose and those oddly beige instant mashed potatoes stuck in your hair for days.  Ahhh those were the days.

However, in today’s world I apparently would have been considered part of a gang riot, arrested, booked and charged with animal cruelty (the actual cruelty having been done to birds by the cafeteria workers, of course).  Not to play “the good old days card”, but we weren’t afraid of campus shooters, we didn’t have drills on what to do if there was a campus wide emergency, nor did we stress over political correctness or profiling.  No, the world was not a safe place in 1980, but we felt like it was, our worst offense to generate a mass slaughter of a nearly inedible dinner.

I know we have taken some horrible blows in the last 30 years.  Terrorism is a reality and being prepared for it is a critical lesson we’re still learning.  Nevertheless, is there not a line to draw?  Have we lost our capacity to distinguish between terror and idiocy?  True horror and messy entertainment? Brutality and blowing off steam?

Political correctness.  It was not an organic outgrowth of  past sins, did you know that is actually has an origin?  The earliest citation is found in the U.S. Supreme Court decision Chisholm v. Georgia (1793), denoting that the statement under judgment is literally incorrect, as understood in the eighteenth-century US: “The states, rather than the People, for whose sakes the States exist, are frequently the objects which attract and arrest our principal attention. . . .  Sentiments and expressions of this inaccurate kind prevail in our common, even in our convivial, language.  Is a toast asked?  ‘The United States’, instead of  the ‘People of the United States’, is the toast given.  This is not politically correct.”

In Marxist–Leninist vocabulary, correct denoted the “appropriate party line”.  Likewise in the People’s Republic of China, as part of Mao’s declarations on the correct handling of “non-antagonistic contradictions”.

In other words, people holding governmental power deciding on what is correct language.  What we should say in various situations.  Hmmmmm.  When did we as a people decide to roll over, and consent to that manner of control?  Now, PC-ness rules our lives.  “Fat” is calorically challenged;  “a criminal” is morally challenged;  “a terrorist” is a freedom fighter.  Folks!  Fat is fat and a terrorist is evil.

Okay, PC is bothersome, but so what?  Just another little life annoyance that makes up for years of cruel language.  Did you actually just say that?  Well how tolerant of you, and by tolerant, mean irresolute, spineless, and insipid.  How’s that tickle your PC button?

What are we doing to our children?  Afraid to speak or to offend, we give everyone a trophy; we’ve done away with failing grades and winners.  I’m sorry, with over 15% of America out of work, half the world getting kicked in the teeth economically how are we helping our kids learn to cope with adversity by telling them that it’s okay, there are no winners and losers?

Is it PC to create generations of people who feel entitled?  Generations that don’t understand the difference between real danger and a food fight?  Please understand, I don’t think it’s okay to bully or call people pejorative names, but come on!  Not to be too topical, but you know as well as I do that the Fort Hood tragedy might have been avoided if not for the evils of political correctness.

Bottom line?  Whip a Cornish game hen across the room once in awhile.  You’ll be amazed how good you’ll feel.

Everyone Has a Story….Don’t They?

Everyone Has a Story….Don’t They?

Have you ever asked someone to tell you about themselves and in return they stare at you blankly?  What about the websites for which we all sign up that ask “describe yourself”?  Do you stare at the screen with a bemused look on your face torn between wanting to say, “I’m the best……”, or the more modest, “I’m a simple woman….”

Let’s do an exercise.  Tell me the first thing that comes to mind….seriously…talk to the computer:  Use three words to describe yourself?  Did you choose words about work? “I’m an accountant, hardworking, prompt”, was it more homey,  “I’m a wife, mother, homemaker” or very personal, “handsome, smart and funny”? Self-concept, self-identity, self-consciousness….we all have an impression of ourselves, but that is different from our personal stories.

What’s the point? How do we know where we’re going or what we want to do, if we don’t have a firm grasp on who we are?  Sometimes that means facing parts of our personality we don’t like, but yet exists.  Selfish, self-centered, cruel, sarcastic, fearful, we have to admit the bad ones too, you know.  You may be an SOB and be pretty jovial about it, I don’t know.

So, what’s your story? How did where you grew up influence who you are now?  What choices did you make in college astronomy class that forever changed your present? Who did you narc on at work last week to score points with the boss?  It all matters in who you are.  We can’t change our stories, but we can write new chapters.  Who do you want to be?  Spouse, parent, better friend, boss, improved bowler, it doesn’t matter what your aspirations are, as long as you have a few.  What are you going to do to achieve these newfound goals?

I am not immune from all this.  I have spent the last few years taking care of other people.  In that time, I just didn’t care about how I looked.  Now, how you look may not be horribly important, however, it does play a large part in your self-esteem.  About 3 weeks ago, I looked in the mirror and it was as if I hadn’t seen myself in years.  I just stared at my image thinking, “is that all me?”.  So for the first time in I don’t know how long, I got up in the morning, got a cup of coffee, and went for a brisk walk.  Since then I’ve been energized to make a change and have lost around 15 lbs. Many more to go, but a good start.

What are you energized to do?  New you? New career? New love interest? It’s time to write the next episode of your life.  Remember, it’s always written in permanent marker, you can’t undo what you’ve done, but you can make the next chapter better, more extraordinary.  What’s tomorrow going to mean to you?

One last thought.  I have a good friend who often tells the story called “The Dash”.  You may know it.  On your tombstone there is the date of your birth and the date of your death.  In between there is a dash, and it is only that dash that truly matters because that is your life.  What you did, whom you loved, who loved you, etc.

When my Dad passed away two years ago the Pastor that eulogized him unbeknownst to me used the story of the dash to describe what a wonderful life Dad had lived and how many people he had affected for the positive.  The proof of that was all over the room;  four generations of family that loved him, old college pals, high school classmates from 1949, and most telling, people who had populated his first fourth grade class as a teacher in 1954.

Will you and I be lucky or blessed enough to claim that kind of affection?  In the end that’s up to us.  I ask again, what’s your story and what new page will you write tomorrow?

Post Script:  As always there are many great websites for help in making changes in your life.  Here are a few: (No, I don’t work for any of them)

• Mike Rowe’s website – www.mikeroweworks.com - fabulous site if you’re thinking about a career adjustment. Resources, help, discussion and articles.
• About.com – http://tiny.cc/xTivh A comprehensive list of resources on everything from anger management to self-esteem.
• Stress Info – http://www.stressinfo.net/ Great input on managing life’s stresses.
• Pastor Joel Osteen – http://www.joelosteen.com Best selling author and pastor of the Lakewood Church.

I Always Wanted to be Somebody……

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific”. ~Lily Tomlin

When I grow up, I want to be……….  Go ahead and finish it, because we both know that you’re still waiting to grow up.  I don’t care how old we get; how old we feel some days; we’re still the same kids we were 20 years ago in our hearts.  When I was about 7 I asked my grandmother what it felt like to be old.  Of course at the time she was in her early 60’s and was not old, but that seems ancient to a 7 year old.  Her reply was that she was still 16 in her heart and head, so she didn’t know.  At the time, I thought that was a rather frightening answer.  To me it meant we never actually grew up, we would be stuck in time.  Yes, that’s a weird take for a 7 year old, but you had to know me; peculiar was my middle name.  Come on, I was reading Macbeth at 8, so what does that tell you?

Regardless, are you set on who you are or want to be?  Me, I’m a work in progress.  I know what I’m good at, I know what I enjoy and I know what I can tolerate, but what does that translate into?  The unemployment numbers for October came out today and were a whopping 10.2%.  Highest in umpteen years.  How does that affect how we perceive ourselves?  Being out of work is a devastating blow to someone’s ego and super ego; just think what it does to the Id?  (Look up Freud)  However, how does it connect with what we want to be when we grow up?

I was watching, Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, on the Discovery channel on Tuesday night (at 9pm).  Mike was in a tofu factory; God I hate tofu.  No, I am not evil; I’m allergic to soybeans.  Anyway, one of the men he met on the line was someone who in a “former life” was a personal banker, who had started out a carpenter/handy man and was now back to blue collar work making tofu.  Mike made the comment, “Goes to show that when trading in the blue collar for a white one, hang on to the old shirt.  You never know when you might need it again.”  Then Mike asked him, “You’re a guy in financial services that has fallen back on the ability to pay the bills with your hands?”  “Correct” our banker tofu maker answers.

Did the tofu banker plan on making tofu at this point in his life?  Ummmm, let’s see….uhh no.  But he’s doing what he has to do.  You see that’s the real key to growing up.  Just being able to do what has to be done.  So what about you?  Are you among the 10.2% or the even higher percentage that has just given up looking and reporting or are you just miserable at what you’re doing?

Sitting on the couch watching Oprah may “empower” you, but it won’t enrich your bank account.  Jerry Springer may make you say, “Hey that’s my cousin Bill”, but it won’t put Christmas under the tree.  You may be at the point in your life when it’s time to move from banker to tofu maker.  To stand up and say, “I’m unemployed and I’m not going to take it anymore!”  What do you do?  How about your local tech college?  How about cutting your neighbors’ grass/shoveling their snow and thereby starting your own landscaping business?  Here’s a whacked idea, look around your area for things that are undone.  Things you’ve groused about for years, “why doesn’t someone……”, and then do it?  You would be surprised at how many businesses/business owners need things done, plan on doing whatever it is themselves, but just don’t have the time so it falls by the wayside.  If you were to pitch them on you doing it for them, they would hire you with relief.  What things, you ask?  Only you can figure that out through local observations, which goes back to turning off Oprah (sorry Oprah, don’t mean to dis you).

A great place to start on your search is the Internet.  Start googling (another new verb) various thoughts and ideas to see who else is doing it.  A fabulous new resource is a site: www.mikeroweworks.com.  It is a non-profit foundation founded by the ubiquitous Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs fame.  In that site you will not only find resources but lively discussions, political insights, schools, scholarships, friendships as well as input from other tradesman and craftsmen.  The site in and of itself is a great example of someone looking around and giving back.  When you get there, take a moment to watch Mike’s Mission Statement.  It will encourage you to know that there are still good people left in the world.

Whatever you do, just don’t give up.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, and your values become your destiny.”

~ Mahatma Ghandi

What destiny will your beliefs lead you to?

What Are You Willing To Pay?

What are You Willing to Pay?

What price are you willing to pay?  What cost is too high for something you covet?  You know as well as I do that everything has a cost.  No, this is not about money; how to make more money; how to make money from home, and I’m not selling anything. However, I am asking: How much are you willing to shell out?

Asking price’s vary depending on what’s being purchased.  Let’s consider:

• What is the cost to your health when you smoke?
• What is the cost to your hips when you eat that extra portion of fries?
• What is the cost to your financial status when you quit?
• What is the cost to your children when you are a work-alcoholic?
• What is the cost to your marriage if you cheat?
• What is the cost to our country for freedom of speech?
• What is the cost to our country when the deficit soars?
• What is the cost of freedom to us all?

Are you with me yet?

There is a cost to be paid for everything.  Of course, asking price relates to worth, and what something is worth is very personal.  My Father didn’t stop to think of the cost of smoking until he was dying of lung cancer.  I didn’t think of the cost of over eating until I looked in the mirror and realized that was “all me”.  Many American’s don’t realize the cost of their freedom until it is their son or daughter who goes off to war.  The older we get, the more we realize the value of possessions, actions, and words.

Often the perceived cost of something is paralyzing.  We sit stuck in between knowing we need to act and the fear of what will happen if we do.  History gives many examples.  Can you imagine for a moment what it must have been like to be part of the first Continental Congress in 1776?  Do you sign the Declaration, and wait for the British to hang you as a traitor or do you not sign and betray all those ideals you hold most precious?  Are you able to put yourself in Harry Truman’s place before Hiroshima?  Does he cause massive death, and destruction ending the war or does he wait it out knowing thousands more Americans will die?  Abraham Lincoln…do you sign the Emancipation Proclamation knowing it will utterly inflame the South or do you wait knowing that time, and economics will end the evil of slavery?

Today we face our own challenges.  Do we take action or do we wait to see if Congress handles it for us?  Many have taken the Tea Party route.  Agree with them or not, you must respect their convictions and actions.  What about you personally?  Are you in a career you hate stuck behind a desk, longing to be out in the open?  Are you a dentist who always wanted to be a park ranger?  A receptionist who secretly longs to be a zookeeper?  A psychologist that wishes to pump out septic tanks (seriously, it’s happened).

What is your inaction costing you?  Time, fulfillment, peace of mind, a better income, more moments with your family?  I have a very good friend who was a tremendous salesperson. A bona fide, record-breaking, financial superstar.  After a year, she left her position and went to cosmetology school.  Will she ever make as much money in one year in her new field?  Who knows, but she is the happiest I’ve ever seen her.  She’s actually smiling again, enjoying her life, playing more with her son and husband, and dare I say it, exultant.

What scale will you use to weigh out the cost of transformation?  Change is scary, daunting, a feeling as if something malevolent is lurking in the shadows ready to pounce.  Nevertheless, what is the price tag of not acting?  The dread of facing another day where you are?  One more weekend you don’t spend with the kids?  One more Monday morning sitting slumped on the edge of the bed because you just don’t want to go to work?

We all have lost someone important to us.  During the pain and grief, we all swear that we will not take our lives for granted anymore; life is precious and short.  Then that oath is forgotten over time because life gets away from us, we’re busy, we’re overwhelmed, and we’re tired.  Soon we turn around, years have passed, and we’re paddling in the same stream, tied off to the same bank, wondering why the scenery hasn’t changed and we haven’t gotten anywhere.

So I ask again, what cost are you willing to pay?

What will the price be if your fear keeps your paralyzed, locked in place?

Don’t wait to find out.  Look at yourself in the mirror, see John Hancock, and sign your proclamation with a big flourish.

“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action”.

– Benjamin Disraeli

Post Script: If you want to make changes in your life, here are some great places to start: (nope, not being paid by any of them, but they are great sites)

• www.mikeroweworks.com – Tremendous career input, advice, and schools.  Non-profit foundation.
• http://www.lifecounseling.org/ – counseling to people and families of all ages
• http://jaycataldo.com/ – Life Coach